Happy Valentine's Day! For those of you in the mood for romance, I have a guest post up over at Gertie's blog on heart pockets. (Want even more heart-shaped pockets? Check out my earlier post on them, or take a look at the category in the Vintage Wiki.)
But for those of you feeling grumpy this Valentine's Day, I present Aunt Martha's 9351, "Kittens -- Tell of Romance." Check out the unintentionally brilliant note scrawled on the envelope: "used up."
We've all been there, haven't we?
I know lately I've been reserving Fridays for Unfortunate Fashion, but I can't bear to put Betsey Johnson in that category. I love her over-the-top stuff, and have several of her 1970s patterns. Check out this early wonder that just showed up on the Vintage Sewing Pattern Wiki, Butterick 3850:
What Sensational Accessories! Can you resist a carpenter's apron with pockets for pencils, keys, lipstick, junk and tools? A tote bag with "hello" suspended from a woman's lips? I can't!
And yet...the hat. Betsey Johnson, my pop-punk princess rebel, you fail me here. The "Don't bother me...I'm pretending to study!" just screams Fabricated Teen Rebellion. (If you're pretending to study, shouldn't it say "Please Bother Me"?)
You're a hair's breadth away from getting an Unfortunate Fashion stamp, Betsey. Watch your step.
Remember McCall's 3057, the awesome 70s embroidery pattern for giant guitars and chains? McCall's issued a SECOND "Zigging on the Zagged Line" pattern in 1971, and it's got me so excited that I'm this close to putting up "Zigging on the Zagged Line" on a Café Press t-shirt. McCall's 3058 is just as breathtaking and brilliant as its giant-eyed sibling:
Wowza! Check out the GIANT TIE you could embroider on your frock! The giant heart medallion! The full body spiderweb and the anaconda! Oh, but there's more! Check out the back (photo courtesy Mary & Bill's Vintage and Newer Sewing Patterns on etsy):
My favorite is the flyswatter with the fly embroidered on it. Very meta, I suppose. Although a fabric flyswatter seems like the nastiest thing in the world -- just contemplating cleaning it gives me the heebie jeebies.
Still, I can't keep my eyes off those dresses and tunics emblazoned with giant things. I want...i want Mondo from Project Runway to take this idea and run with it. (Speaking of PR, how awesomely amazing was last week's episode with the downfall of Team Luxe and Gretchen?) II'd love to see the judges contemplate a giant embroidered bird medallion!
"Breathtaking" and "genius" are only a few of the words that come to mind when I look at McCall's 3057:
Your eyes do not deceive you! This is an embroidery transfer for GIANT THINGS! Giant chains! Giant eyes! A giant guitar! A giant zipper! Giant buttons! Even (and I don't know why this is the one that strikes me as odd) a giant ping pong game!
If the dresses above aren't mind-blowingly fantastic enough, check out McCall's other suggested uses for their giant things:
Giant chains on your jeans! A giant zipper on your bedspread! An eye curtain! The mind reels.
The pattern is for sale at Your Pattern Shop and I'm using all my will to resist buying it. As much as I'd love to own it and laugh at it, hauling it out to bore non-sewing friends with it, I know myself well enough to know that, despite my great plans, I'd probably never actually use it.
That's where you come in, dear readers! Think of the mind-numbing havoc you can wreak with this little baby. Embroider chains around a cocktail dress! Raise the stakes on the exposed zipper trend by stitching one huge zipper over an actual one! Put ping pong paddles on your aprons! Confuse the neighbors with a peeping Tom doormat! But whatever you do, please please please...send in a photo of the results. The world needs more giant embroidered guitars.
I was doing my morning browse of the Vintage Pattern Wiki and ran across Simplicity 2849 from the late 1930s. Isn't it just lovely?
The skirt, the suspenders, the bolero -- all great. But what really stands out for me are the flowers embroidered on the shoulders -- I don't think I've seen that before. What a wonderful, sweet detail!
Of course, I'm also thinking it would be fun to make a blouse and embroider an anchor on one shoulder and "Mom" on the other. I'm too indecisive and chicken to commit to a tattoo, but that just might work.
1970s culture wars, pattern style.
Super Shirts (Butterick 4337) vs. Embroidery Design (Simplicity 6380):
Organic gardening vs. mind altering experiences
Mother Jones vs. Rolling Stone
The Carpenters' "We've Only Just Begun" vs. The Eagles' "Life in the Fast Lane"
Sorry, Super Shirts. Ms. Embroidery Design is going to kick both your asses.
