pattern junkie

Unfortunate Fashion Friday: Double Knit Wonders

I don't think I need to explain why I threw McCall's 3442 into the "unfortunate fashion" pile:

McCall's 3442, 1972

To be fair, the actual pattern -- the pants and "shirt-jacket" -- are fine.  But the (entirely fictional) fabric is a terrifying example of 1970s double-knit wonder.

Red Plaid Pants is actually the best-dressed one of the bunch.  I think he and Green Boots -- green boots! -- are congratulating each other on Green Boots' fashion choices.  (Really?  A red lumberjack shirt-jacket with key lime boots?)  Meanwhile poor Navy Plaid looks on...whether in disdain for his compatriots' fashion choices or sadness that they have not noticed his white webbing belt, I cannot say.

A Sure Way To Any Boy's Heart

In keeping with the romance theme for Valentine's Week, here's a pattern from the 1930s, Pictorial Review 9051:

What's so romantic about this windbreaker?  Ah, I'll let the pattern description do the talking:

A sure way to any man's or boy's heart is by making this windbreaker. He'll like either the one- or two-piece back and slide fastener closing.

Why didn't anyone tell me that a way to a man's heart was through a windbreaker?!

But don't worry, ladies...this pattern is SNEAKY.  Your target will never know that you aim to rule his heart...because as the insightful post on this pattern over at Unsung Sewing Patterns points out, the illustration goes out of its way to show Men Doing Manly Things.  Checking a compass, throwing a stick for a fox terrier much like the famed fox terrier of the time, Asta...the instructions even show someone fishing. 

Junkies young and old, you now know the secret to hooking a man's heart...sew, sew, sew away!

Unfortunate Fashion Friday: The Bermuda Jumpsuit, or That Creep Can Roll

Even great designers have their missteps.  Behold Bill Blass and Vogue 1461, the Bermuda jumpsuit (shudder):

I admit it.  There's an evil little part of me that wants to devote my limited sewing time to making this for Mr. PatternJunkie just to see the look of horror on his face when I present it to him.  (He'd never wear it.  Mr. PJ is an old school punk rocker who prefers black fabric, skulls, and insists that "shorts" stop about four inches above his ankles.) 

A Bermuda jumpsuit may not be worth hours of sewing time, but milliseconds of Google searching to see if I could catch one in the wild?  Certainly!  Sadly, I could find no evidence of any 1970s survivors...but at the extraordinary website MyJumpsuit.com ("Enjoy Your Lifestyle...Work Is Allowed...Fits Your Activities") I found the elusive shorty jumpsuit for men:

Nope.  Not even the magic touch of Bill Blass and his welt pockets and self-tie belt can save this.

On the other hand, MyJumpsuit.com has a costume section.  I never realized how many male costumes revolved around jumpsuits.  Mork, Super Dave, Jack LaLanne...and of course, my favorite, Jesus Quintana from The Big Lebowski. 

Mr. Pattern Junkie may be getting a jumpsuit after all.

(And if by some chance you HAVEN'T seen THE BIG LEBOWSKI...well, enjoy the Jesus Quintana scene, a sublime four minutes of madness.  To quote Donny, "I am the walrus.")

 

Flasher Fashion

Oh, Vogue.  You've come out with some scrumptious dresses for spring...and then there's your new pattern for men, 8720.  This goes straight into the Department of WWTT (What Were They Thinking?):

Was it really necessary for the coat to be buttoned all the way to the neck?  Did the model need to shove his hands forearm-deep into the pockets?  And why, in the name of all that is holy, did someone decide to throw sunglasses into the mix? 

I don't see this and think, "My goodness, there's a stylish man!"  I think "That guy's getting ready to expose his junk.  Remind me not to look his way."

Togetherness Is...

How nice that Butterick 5266 includes relationship advice on the pattern envelope:

 

Hmm.  It seems Togetherness is Also...

...His and Hers Pants in Identical Fabrics and Styles

...His and Hers Striped Belts

...His and Hers Tan Kerchiefs Knotted in the Jaunty Style

We Have A Winner!

Congratulations to Bratling, who provided a great alternative story to Simplicity 1617 and thus wins the first Pattern Junkie contest:

"...I think that stripes has the golf club as protection from squinty eyed white pajama man. There is obviously something sinister about white pajama man's book. Perhaps it is a manual on how to take over the world, and Stripes' golf club is the only thing that can stop it! Perhaps the golf club is a Bond-esque weapon that will stop White Pajama man from enacting his nefarious plan!... The golf club blends in for camouflage! So when Stripes attacks to stop Squinty-eyed White Pajama Man, he won't know where it's coming from!"

 

Bratling, the pattern is yours!  Just email me your address (my email is at the upper left) and Stripes and Squinty will come home to you. 

Sometimes A Cigar is Just a Cigar and Two Men in PJs are Just...

Remember just last week when I suggested that Simplicity 1617 here was a prime example of The Pajama Problem?  That the poor illustrator, perplexed at having to visually explain why two men were in PJs together, made it into a virtual horror movie -- what with Stripes and his missing eye and different colored hands?

Lo and behold, a few days ago I was going through patterns to list in my etsy shop and I found this very same pattern!  It was then that I discovered that some of my conclusions were quite wrong -- the mismatched hands and missing eye are the result of aged paper, not illustrator madness  See?  Here's my copy:

Stripes isn't missing an eye -- both of his eyes are closed.  And I can't believe that I missed the golf club in his right hand!  For some reason the stripes on his pajamas show through it -- is it clear?  Invisible?

So, dear readers, I must revise my earlier interpretation.  White isn't in the middle of performing horrible medical experiments on Stripes.  And, of course, there's a perfectly logical reason why these men are in pajamas together.  Stripes is sleepwalking (hence the closed eyes) and has wandered into White's house, disturbing him as he's reading.  Furthermore, I'm pretty sure Stripes is dreaming about golf -- that's why the club blends so perfectly with his pajamas.

This mixup of mine calls for a mea culpa in the form of a PATTERN GIVEAWAY, so let me know what you think!  Is there another explanation for what's going on here?  Leave your answer in the comments -- you have until Sunday night, 2/21/10, midnight PST, and the pajama pattern is yours!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Round Two

Alas, it's time to wrap up men's week and bid a fond adieu to the men of patternland -- at least for now -- with a look at some of the "bads" and "uglys" I've found of late.  Enjoy -- and who knows?  You may find your own swan among these geese!

Let's start with Simplicity 8207.  I get the drawstring bell bottoms.  I get the color-blocked shorts.  I get the motorcycle jacket.  What I DON"T get is combining them all together:

Speaking of strange combos, how 'bout these fabric choices for Simplicity 9400?  Wowza!!

While we're on the subject of ties, McCall's 3434, the "reversible tie and ascot pattern" raises my suspicions right away.  The pattern envelope is trying WAY TOO HARD to convince me that this is a great idea:

Sure, there's only one guy the envelope for McCall's 2455 -- but his mustache and ALL THAT FRINGE demand inclusion, don't you think?  You can't stop the fringe!

Simplicity 9087 -- which I first spied over at Male Pattern Boldness (thanks, Peter!) -- is a stunner, if only for the fact that the man in the ponyskin vest stands out the least.  Really, how is THAT possible?!  We've got a couple of early Beatles wannabes, a Great White Hunter, Mr. Blue Two-Way Polyester and...

...???  WHAT IS THAT?  The man in front.  The one wearing striped pants, a matching striped vest and NO SHIRT?  

Striped Vest confuses me greatly.  Since I spent the early 70s learning how to walk and tie my shoes, I sent the picture to Ma & Pa Pattern Junkie with the question: what on earth could this man be doing?  What activity is he dressed for?  My father's answer was "disco" while my mom was confused by the whole pattern, which she termed a "mod-safari-cowboy-circus fusion."  So Striped Vest is a mod circus cowboy.  On a safari.  Good enough for me.

Last but not least, Simplicity 6440, which is the hands-down winner in the "so bad it's good" category.  Any pattern that lists an actual bottle opener in its notions list and uses the phrase "rick rack steam" in its description is a winner in my book:

Yes.  The bottle opener actually hangs off the vested apron.  Genius!

Have any "good, bad and uglys" of your own?  Send 'em my way and I'll post them!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: Round One

Welcome to THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY.  These are a few of the men's vintage patterns I've found that count as my "goods."  If Mr. Pattern Junkie, the rebellious ex-early 80s punk rocker, did not strictly adhere to his own unique dress code (black, black, black; Vans shoes with skulls; shirts never smaller than way too big and shorts never shorter than 5 inches below the knee), these are patterns I'd make for him.  Of course, tastes vary -- you might call these your "bads" or "uglys"!  Enjoy.

First: I've got to tip my hat to Butterick 3960 for making plain shorts more interesting with the stripes variation on view B.  Both Mr. View As seems quite jealous, don't you think?

 

I really love this mod shirt and pant combo from McCall's 8475, not to mention the pattern illustration itself.  Yeah, baby!

Butterick 5738 has a deep V-neck vest with a low-slung belt.  Everything about it screams bad polyester and hideous 70s fashion.  So why do I like it so?

McCall's 5628 is easy to love: it's a classic car coat.  Even Mr. Pattern Junkie might go for this one:

 

Here's a car coat updated for the 1970s, McCall's 2981.  I thrifted a coat much like View B in college and wore it to death until my mother "accidentally" donated it to Goodwill.  She's still in trouble for that one.

Finally: Butterick 5898!  With my big collar obsession, how can I not love a robe with wide lapels?!  FUNKY!

Next up: my bad and uglys!  Got good, bad and uglys of your own?  Send 'em in and I'll post them!

Men's Week Day Four: All About the Subtext

Remember the old joke about the fortune cookie fortune that read, "Help!  I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory"?

Occasionally I run across patterns that remind me of that.  See, it's easy for me to forget the people behind the pattern illustrations: the trained artists who made a living by turning out drawing after drawing of wrap dresses, button down shirts and fly-front pants.  But sometimes an illustration comes along that -- whether through its composition, color or subtext -- is the equivalent of that fortune cookie message.  Pick up the envelope and listen.  You'll hear a soft whisper: "I studied at the Sorbonne.  I have more in me than another zip-front housedress.  I have things I want to say."

Here's one example: Butterick 2305, circa early 1960s.  I lack the artistic training to explain just why the composition is striking, but it really does jump out.  (Maybe it's the way the men face different ways, their arm gestures almost mirroring each other?)  Sure, it's an illustration for a shirt design -- and an interesting design for the view B hemline, at that. 

But look closer.  Can't you imagine it hung in a gallery as a 50s suburban update on the happy/sad drama faces?  It would be titled "You wouldn't believe what the little woman did this time!" -- the first instance having a wacky sitcom interpretation, the second a more sinister Belle de jour one:

Yeah.  That made me feel sort of icky, too.

Let's move on to Simplicity 4971, also from the early 1960s.  If Butterick 2305 is compelling, subtle and disturbing, this is...wow.  This is the kind of thing you get in freshman art class.  Look:

The sensitive young boy in capris and espadrilles touches the elbow of the jacket-wearing tough as the Pants of Oppression look on in disapproval!  This isn't a pattern illustration -- it's a coming out story.

Tomorrow: The Men's Week wrap-up begins with Day One of THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY!