pattern junkie

Sugar Swings

I look at the envelope for Simplicity 8721 and my first thought is, "No one should have given these childen sweetened cola."  Is it just me, or do they seem a little hyper?

Then I saw this awesome vintage ad promoting the importance of sugar to a child's diet.  (It originally appeared in Time Magazine in 1966; I spotted it here.)  Who knew sugar was promoted as part of a healthy diet?  So Blue to the left there isn't spazzing out -- she's doing the Watusi!

As for the phrase "like a turtle needs a seatbelt"?  I need to find a way to work that into my everyday language immediately.  "Honey, I need this argument like a turtle needs a seatbelt."  "Officer, I need this ticket like a turtle needs a seatbelt."  Handy for so many situations!

Before They Had Pipes

Reader Harriet sent in this fantastic pattern she found on etsy, which she's aptly titled "Before They Had Pipes":

 

Wow.  Look at all those little businessmen!  Harriet thinks that Mr. Blue Plaid in front looks suspiciously like Sal from Mad Men.  I don't follow the show (a sin for a vintage lover, I know -- I didn't get into it at first and now fear it will take over my life if I try to catch up), but I suspect that Sal is a toupee-wearing ladies' man.  The rest of the "boys" don't look so innocent either.  Mr. Red Vest behind him looks ready to sell us a shady bill of goods, while Mr. Gray Blazer/Bow Tie is clearly another snake oil salesman.  I'm not quite sure what Red Plaid Vest has done at such a young age to deserve framing, but Brown Suit?  I pity Brown Suit.  If there's a Willy Loman in this diorama of 1950s white collar masculinity, it's Brown Suit.

There are a couple of other 1950s boys' patterns in the seller's shop, and together they offer an amazing glimpse into the strict gender roles men were forced into during this time.  I know I focus so much on the societal restrictions placed on women that I forget that men and boys -- even if they didn't have to deal with everything from job discrimination to girdles -- had their own cultural baggage.  If you look at these patterns, it seems that boys were being molded into "little men" from a very young age.

This one, Simplicity 4964, at least makes a passing acknowledgment to boyhood and puberty.  Charming Red and Cute Stripe pose for the viewer while White Shirt gives grooming advice to Tennis.  ("The ladies, they like it when you shave, see?  And they think it's real special when you slick back your hair.")

But Simplicity 4740 really portrays its boys as little men -- they truly are only a pipe away from manhood:

These kids are having a business conference before bed!  Check out Red Robe!  He's not just holding a sheaf of papers, briefing Blue Plaid and White Robe with some last minute details on tomorrow's presentation...he's wearing SLACKS ad DRESS SHOES underneath the robe!

The Yo-Yo Killer

Here's another great pattern sent in by reader Margie, who provided us with the awesome TEACHES GIRLS TO SEW.  I agree with her on this one -- Simplicity 7239 is not all childhood innocence and fun:

Green up there clearly has designs on Baby Blue, and is attempting to clock her with a yo-yo.  And while Baby Blue may not have verbal skills yet, she's doing a good job of giving her murderous sister the finger.

As for Flowers and Gingham?  They're plotting where to bury the body.  And methinks Gingham might want to hop on over to Daddy Likey for some basic fashion advice: DON'T SHOWCA YOUR CHOCA, little one!

McCall's: Destroying Your Child's Precious Self-Esteem, Pattern by Pattern

McCall's 7453, copyright 1964.  An adorable pattern, right?  What girl wouldn't want to wear it?

Let's take a closer peek at the symbol and writing in the upper right-hand corner, shall we?

And I thought the Husky boys had it bad.

TEACHES GIRLS TO SEW

Reader Margie sent in this fantastic sign that she found in a box of patterns (dated from the 40s to the 70s) that she was given at an auction.  (Note to self: attend more auctions!)

I have to say I nearly spit coffee through my nose when I first saw it.  I love how the VALUABLE PRACTICAL INSTRUCTION offered by Presson Patterns is much more important than any frivolous entertainment they might provide.  There will be NO GUESSWORK and NO MISTAKES!  The poor little zombie girl with the doomed expression seems to be marching off to another miserable lesson now.  She'd probably much rather be playing with the mechanical construction toys, but gender roles aren't to be defied...

Costume Countdown: Cats, Canes & Clockwork Orange

Peruse vintage costume patterns for just a few moments, and you'll realize that the footed pajama has long been the bedrock of kids' costume patterns.  It beckons from within the illustrations like a shady man on a streetcorner, opening its coat full of watches and whispering to tired moms, "Pssst.  Lady.  I know the sewin's gonna take some time.  You're just makin' pajamas, some mittens and a hood with bunny ears or a spaceman's antenna, see?  Let the kid run around in it for Halloween and ya got jammies for the rest of the year." 

Take McCall's 1485 from 1949.  The panda, in particular, is quite adorable.  (Click on the photo to go to the listing, which is at Midvale Cotttage.)

(As an aside: is the brown bunny moonwalking?  I'm not sure.)

So it's no surprise that McCall's 3355 from 1972 is based on the good ol' footed pajama.  (Thanks to historically patterns at etsy for the photo.)  It's a good pattern:

 

See?  Cute!  Bunny is helping Tiger with makeup and Mouse is hanging out with Cat, who's carrying a cane for some reason.  I feel bad for the little girl who's staying in, but she does have good slippers.  S

Adorable and practical: that's the footed PJ costume.  Timeless, really.  So it's no surprise that McCall's re-issued the same pattern in 1980, this time calling it McCall's 7132 (click on the drawing to go to the listing in tiddleywink's shop.)  Taking recycling to heart, though, the pattern illustrators re-used the same concept -- although I find the update disturbing:

Cat still has a cane, and that gives me pause.  Do cats usually carry canes?  I've always been a dog person, so maybe there's a cat/cane connection I don't know about.  Maybe canes were the height of fashion for cats between 1972 and 1980, and any child dressed for Halloween in footed pajamas, ears and a bow tie but sans cane was mistaken for a marmot.

Then there's Bunny.  Bunny isn't helping with makeup any more, electing instead to tauntingly wave a cottontail at Pajama Girl which, frankly, isn't so nice.  Whatever illness is still keeping Pajama Girl inside this Hallow's Eve has presumable gotten worse.  She's practically quarantined off, though the fever has made her blissfully unaware of it.

Mouse has taken over makeup duty, but I don't like the look on Tiger's face.  Not one bit.  That kid is going to cause some trouble.  Combined with the what must be cruel laughter of Cat, the taunting of Bunny and that inexplicable cane, the whole thing is feeling a little too Clockwork Orange to me.  The "Powers" scrawled next to Trio Taunt doesn't help much either.  (Truth be told, neither does the fact that the hubby and I decided to re-watch some Kubrick films last week, so I've got the Korova Milk Bar on my mind.)  At any rate, I fear for Pajama Girl.  She's not going to be smiling for long.

Costume Countdown: I Hear The Mermaids Singing

Today's costume countdown: questionable children's costume patterns! 

First up: Butterick 5597, issued 1991, photo courtesy Spessarite Sole:

Right.  Creating shell-shaped breast pieces for a prepubescent girl?  Nah, that wouldn't make parent OR child uncomfortable. 

Next up? McCall's 2205 from 1985, again from Spessarite Sole's etsy shop:

I suppose sticking them in the flower pots is the only way to keep them on the ground when the wind picks up.

Last but certainly not least, behold Simplicity 8221 from runningalarm:

Imagine opening the door on this group on Halloween night.

MOM AT DOOR:  Look at all you kids!  Jenny, you're such a cute little elf.  I'd better hide the cheese from that mouse --

MOUSE: Squeak!  Squeak!

MOM AT DOOR:  And the pirate and Indian, you're both so scary!  And Timmy...well, uh...

TIMMY: I'M THE SPIRIT OF AUTUMN!

MOM AT DOOR:  You're the what?  I'm sorry, I don't think there is a spirit of --

TIMMY: I'M THE SPIRIT OF AUTUMN!  I HAVE LEAVES ALL OVER MY JUMPSUIT!

PIRATE: Let me put the jack o' lantern over his head.  That helps a little.

MOM AT DOOR: Yes, actually it -- wait a minute.  Timmy, where's your treat bag?  Are those dried leaves in your hands?

TIMMY: I'M THE SPIRIT OF AUTUMN!!  MOM SAYS AUTUMN IS WHEN ALL GOOD THINGS DIE AND THAT IF I WANT CANDY I CAN GO STAY WITH MY DAD AND HIS TARTED-UP HARLOT!

MOM AT DOOR:   ...

TIMMY: I'M THE SPIRIT OF AUTUMN!!!

Costume Countdown: Sci Fi Madness!

With just under a week to go until Halloween (one of my favorite holidays -- I'm still rubbing the blood off my arms from the "Carrie at the prom" costume I wore to a party last night), I'm declaring it "Costume Countdown" week.  I'll be featuring vintage costume patterns every day until Halloween. 

Today: SCI FI MADNESS!

First up, Butterick 6756, which you can find on etsy at the lovely PatternMania's shop.

I love this illustration.  I like to imagine it's actually from a children's book, "The Littlest Spaceman," about an astronaut's son who takes dad's spaceship and lands on the Planet of Animals.  As he shouts "I'm Lord of All I Survey!", Panda and Leopard bow compliantly, while Lion does a welcoming dance.  Sadly, the Littlest Spaceman has led a sheltered life on the space compound, and doesn't realize that Rabbit and Carrot have other opinions.  A coup's a coming, and it's not going to be pretty.

Now, no Sci Fi costume post could be complete without McCall's 8731, which any Star Wars fanatic should grab from PatternPeddler posthaste.  It is -- hold your breath now -- an Ewoks pattern.  OK, so some Star Wars fans may buy the pattern to burn it, but I'll take the cutesy Ewoks over Episode One any day.

I was excited to post this because I thought it gave me a valid reason to link to the Star Wars Holiday Special from 1978, until I remembered that that gem of television history featured Wookies, not Ewoks.  I'm linking to it anyway, because you've never seen such a confused mess in your life.  Poor Harrison Ford.

Finally, why limit Sci Fi wonderfulness to Halloween?  Erin over at Dress A Day finished her Tetris Dress, and it's great!  Here's a pic of the wonderfulness, but go to her blog to get the full story!

Creepy Children, Volume 3: It Puts the Lotion in the Basket, or It Gets the Hose Again

OK.  I know that Kwik Sew 345 is supposed to be all childlike and innocent, but it just creeps me out.  And yes, since it's from the 60s or 70s the resemblance to the poster for The Silence of the Lambs is completely coincidental, but it's there.  Behold:

Kwik Sew:

Silence of the Lambs:

The more I look at the Kwik Sew pattern illustration, the more it creeps me out.  What's the boy hiding behind his back, and why is he smiling like that?  What's wrong with the girl's fingers?  They're just weird.  And why does she have that big jelly arm?  Does she even have arm bones?  Where are the boy's feet?!

Ick.

Creepy Children, Volume Two: The Endtimes Are Near

Simplicity 7683
Originally uploaded by TheRealAstrogirl

Forget the four horsemen of the apocalypse. It's going to be three gleeful tykes in footie pajamas who usher in the end of the world.

"Creepy Children" is already well on its way to being a regular feature here at Pattern Junkie -- there are just too many to choose from. For another truly jaw-dropping kids' pattern illustration, check out Kwik Sew 1653 over at the fabulous blog Clothed Minds. It's honestly sort of disturbing.