pattern junkie

Verna Wants to Know How That Sounds

One of the things I love finding on vintage patterns are notations made by prior owners.  Sometimes they're as mysterious as a secret message.  Other times they offer a glimpse of a seamstress' well-laid plans.  Yet other times they're the final trace of that rage that comes with a failed sewing project.

McCall's 9780 belonged to a "Verna Stein," according to the name one the envelope.  At first I assumed that Verna was a very exacting child and this pattern was part of a careful negotiation with her mother.  The note reads: 

I would like this one, but with a big sash tie in back & lace around the neck and sleeves.  How does that sound?

 

McCall's 9780, 1969

 

But the writing is so neat, so precise -- this isn't a child's scrawl.  I think Verna hired a seamstress, and these were her written instructions to her. 

Still, I prefer to think of Verna as a precocious little girl, mouth twisted in concentration as she  consults her penmanship book and underlines all the important words in her oh-so-polite fashion note to Mother.  I wonder what kind of fabric she chose.

 

Camouflage Comes In Yellow, Too

 Oh, Kwik Sew.  I don't know what to say.  At this point you're really the pattern company that keeps on giving to this blog, aren't you?

Again, Kwik Sew: the pattern illustration should MAKE ME WANT TO SEW!  Not remind me that, after all that work, I'm going to be washing urine out of my carefully stitched seams.

Nursery Shenanigans

The bunny was shocked -- simply SHOCKED! -- at what he witnessed in the playroom that day.

DuBarry 2749

Kwik Sew Presents: The Saddest Toddler in the World

Oh, Kwik Sew.  How many times do we have to go through this?  The purpose of a pattern illustration is to make us want to use your pattern.  Not to evoke thoughts of a particularly gruesome CSI episode, Hannibal Lecter or childhood despair:

What woe troubles the little tyke of Kwik Sew 449?  Is Mom getting into the rum again?  Did Dad kick the puppy?  Or are those little footie pajamas just not fitting the way they should?

Kwik Sew 1179: Modern Dance and Road Kill

There are a few baffling and downright disturbing things on the pattern envelope for Kwik Sew 1179:

1. The child in the rabbit towel appears to be engaged in some form of modern interpretative dance.  What, you think a rabbit head towel would be too bizarre?  Trust me: I was in a modern dance troupe in college, and anything can happen.  For one piece, the choreographer instructed us to come to rehearsal with "kneepads, long underwear and a flashlight.  The long underwear should be small enough to fit on your head."  During one concert, we realized there was a nail sticking up out of the dance floor, so during the pause between pieces another dancer and I crawled onto the stage with a flashlight and a hammer to find it.  (Why didn't we just turn on the lights and walk out there?  I don't know.  Dancers aren't known for logic.)  We pounded it in and crawled offstage.  The audience broke out in rapturous applause.
2. What's happened to the child between photo one and two of the cat sleeping bag?  Has the sleeping bag digested the child?  Or was a vanishing spell involved?
3. Speaking of which...I'm not a parent, but I imagine that it might be distressing to make your young 'un a sleeping bag that essentially made her look like she was sleeping in a piece of roadkill.  A piece of roadkill wearing a vest.

Kwik Sew Shenanigans

Oh, Kwik Sew, Kwik Sew.  I don't mean to pick on you, but you make it so darn easy.  Really, who was responsible for the lingerie and child pattern illustrations of the 60s and 70s?  You've already disturbed me with lingerie in a field, sexy footed pajamas and Silence of the Lambs-style imagery.  Now I find THIS:

 

I really have no words -- except a vehement "eww."

Juvenile Delinquents

When I first encountered Butterick 4149, all I could focus on was that doll.  It left me speechless, breathless and everything in between:

Look at its freakishly long arms and legs, its blank-eyed expression and its stringy stringy hair.  It's ghastly!  The hairline is receding!  Its hand is shaped like a dog bone!  It's the stuff of nightmares and horror movies.

But on a second look, the little girl holding the doll is much much scarier.  Towheaded little Buffy looks so sweet, so innocent...yet don't you think she's in the process of slamming that doll facefirst into the ground?  The doll's limbs are in motion because Buffy there is bashing its little cotton brains out on the rocks, a sweet smile on her face the whole time.

Speaking of little girls up to no good, how about these two in Simplicity 4880?

I don't know what Checks is hiding behind her back -- a tortured cat?  a lethal combination of cyanide and Coca Cola? -- but I know that she and Blue are Up To No Good.  Those innocent looks don't fool me.

Finally, meet the sweet little girls of Vogue 2867:

So ladylike!  So patrician!  So Upper East Side with their painting and tea party settings and contemplation of tulips!

I'm sorry, but someone needs to let these children play in the mud, pronto.  Otherwise they are going to hit puberty and EXPLODE. 

Pattern APB!

Remember Simplicity 3528, the invisible dress?

Reader Judith is looking for it in a size 6.  If you have it, drop her a line via her etsy profile, will ya?  I think she has a little girl she wants to make disappear a charming vintage dress for.

Meanwhile, reader Judi has presented a mystery.  What are the "Maren Dress" patterns Simplicity put out in the 1990s?  Judi contacted Simplicity and -- ahem -- THEY had no clue.  Any insight, dear readers?  Of particular interest is the fact that "Maren Dress" patterns aren't necessarily dresses -- here are a few examples.  (Click on the picture to go the the seller.)

Curiouser and curiouser, as they say in Wonderland...

Tots in Trouble

Sharp-eyed reader Laura sent in a photo of this great pattern, Simplicity 2558, which she has aptly captioned "See, isn't my underwear pretty?"

Laura notes that #2 is a toddler who wants out of her clothes, and I couldn't agree more.  At first I worried that she was stripping down down because her prancing sisters had persuaded her to sit down on an anthill (as my mother and uncle convinced my aunt to do when they were young hellions), but she doesn't have the necessary look of panic.  No, I think they're all stripping -- check out the red shoe in #1's hand.  "Simplicity 2558 -- underthings so pretty your child can't wait to take them off."

Then there's Vogue 2588.  Check out the poor toddler in the middle of this scenario:

The girls on either side of her may be wearing sweet dresses, but there's some cruelty going on here.  "Bathroom?  I don't know what you're talking about.  Barbara, do you know what 'pee=pee' means?"

Little Sisters Are So Easy To Fool

It is too a magic dress.  You put on one if you're going to church...

...and two if you want to be INVISIBLE.