Wow. Even by the warped standards of fashion illustration, these are some LONG legs. Looking at White Shorts makes me shudder, and not in a good way:
Plaid and Red seem to be engaged in some kind of dance move, which makes me think they're all in that long-forgotten 1970s musical "A Culotte Line," which tells the uplifting story of a group of young designers determined to end the pants/skirts divide once and for all.
Two words, people: JAZZ HANDS!
Hello there, and sorry for my absence last week! I've been battling migraine headaches and had a quite a few doozies last week. Now I'm on some new medications and (fingers and toes crossed) will not be spending as much time hiding out in dark rooms, yelling at Mr. Pattern Junkie for CHEWING TOO LOUDLY.
Anyway, I'm now keeping a headache diary, hoping to ferret out those elusive migraine triggers. Considering the time I spend perusing vintage patterns, I'm wondering if I'm soon going to announce to my doctor, "Knickers. Too many knickers sewing patterns are what do me in." Really, look at what just a quick cruise through the vintage sewing wiki can come up with -- whose head wouldn't be pounding contemplating the mysteries here?
Take, for example, Butterick 7933:
They seem so happy, so joyous! Black is even raising a highball is celebration. But why no legs, Butterick?!
Sometimes it's the visual stimulation that's simply overwhelming. Take the stripe matching madness of Simplicity 7966:
Ooh, excuse me while I go turn down the lights. Now let's ponder a rare misstep by Vogue, 6157:
Check out View C on the left! She's sporting a trashbasket with flowers on her head! Besides the fact that it overwhelms the dress with an already huge flower on it, it leaves me pondering the physics of the situation. How does the basket hat not cover her head completely? Is there a structural element in there keeping it up?
I'm sorry, did someone NOT hear my request to turn the lights down? And who out there is CHEWING SO LOUDLY, hmm?
Now let's take a look at Butterick 6499:
Tots in a wonderland of...giant alphabet and button blocks? Because why learn to button buttons and tie laces on shirts and shoes when you can do it on a 17 inch square foam block, I suppose. As for the number and alphabet blocks...how many would poor Mom have to make to have a complete set? Twenty six letters and ten numbers -- six sides to a block -- six blocks at minimum, as long as you don't want to start forming sentences. That's a lot of work and a lot of space. Where would you store these? And wouldn't they risk crushing your children if they started stacking them high?
Here's the real kicker. I present to you McCall's 3100:
Adorable dress -- but what is going on with Red's face? The pinprick eyes, the tiny snoutlike nose -- something is very very wrong here. Why don't Pink & Flowers notice it? And what's the red thing in her hair? Is it a bow, or is it something sprouting from her head? In short, I ask you --
Is she a woman or a pig demon?!
Excuse me while I retire to bed wailing, cold compress in hand. It's the minidress and dance pants that did me in!
