pattern junkie

Up To No Good

I have a lot of pattern pics stored on my computer in files with titles like "Doll Terror," "What's On Her Head?," "International Superspy" and "Dress of Evil" -- but one of the biggest categories by far is "Up To No Good."  What is it about groups of women that suggest that they are, well, up to no good?  Perhaps we all have memories of being the targets of mean girls in elementary school, junior high and high school. (Or was that just me?)

Say hello to just a few of the dastardly women of Patternland -- there are many more to come:

Simplicity 1181, 1951

Don't tell me that the women in Simplicity 3559 aren't plotting!  White Halter is beckoning with one pointed finger, while Stripes is enjoying the show.  Flowers, however, clearly thinks they should have gone with her plan.

Simplicity 3559, 1955

What is it about Pink's expression and body language in Simplicity 1181 that makes it seem like she's about to snatch the viewer's very soul away?  Go ahead, White -- laugh, laugh, laugh!

McCall's 4535, 1959

McCall's 4535 is a tough one to categorize -- clearly Yellow and Print Dress are conspiring about something.  But the sunglasses and big hats give this a dose of International Superspy as well.  My theory is White just handed off that purse to Print Dress.  Expect a high-speed scooter chase to follow.

"But what about the children?!," you cry.  Rest assured, it's not all innocence and light there, either -- check out McCall's 3228:

McCall's 3228, 1987

This one puzzled me for a while, but I think I finally figured it out.  Blue Suit Boy is exhibiting Carrie/Firestarter-like psychic powers and wreaking devastation -- perhaps on us!  Red Skirt is fascinated by him, while all the other kids are laughing at our coming demise.  Quick, look away!

Finally, McCall's 3722 -- or, as I prefer to call it, "Caught In The Act:"

McCall's 3722, 1956

Have you ever seen such a blatant example of "Who, me?  I'm not doing anything!"  It's the equivalent of hitting Microsoft Word to cover up your solitaire game when the boss walks by -- everyone is pretending nothing is going on.  Even the poodle is in on it!

Unfortunate Fashion Friday: Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!

Not just leg warmers.  Oh, no.

Quilted leg warmers that tie up the front.

Simplicity 8146

 

EEEEEKKK!

Simplicity 6696, 1984

You can have the thread.  All of it!  Even the good Gutermann silk!  And the metallics...here, take the rayon, too, I really don't need it.  You want the plain black cotton?  Sure!  Take it!

Just please, please, PLEASE be gone in the morning.

Gifts of the Vintage Pattern Wiki

Hello, lovely and much-neglected blog readers!

It's been stressful times in Pattern Junkie land for the past couple of months.  I was working away this morning, in need of something cheery, when I decided to take a break and head on over to the Vintage Sewing Pattern Wiki.  I hadn't been there in ages.  I clicked on the new photos page to see what wonders had been added.

Little did I know what gifts awaited.

First I spied McCall 7527:

I sighed.  "Wow," I thought.  "Wouldn't it be great to put on that dress and feel like skipping?"

I kept looking.

Oh, Vintage Wiki.  You know just what I need.  Because in the very next row, you presented me with the glory that is Vogue 6731:

YES!  That's a bra just FLOATING in mid-air!  Is there a strip-tease going on just outside the edges of the pattern envelope?  Is a torrid orgy underway?  Or is it a magic bra floating of its own accord, much like the cartoon mini-helper of Advance pattern fame?  I don't know, but that floating bra just fills me with delight.

But that's not all the Vintage Pattern Wiki had to offer today.  Oh, no.  It gets better.  Just take a look at Vogue 8898:

That's OK.  Look again.  Take a deep breath or two.  I needed a moment when I saw it for the first time.

Stuffed animals.  ON SLEDS AND SKIS!  Whizzing down a mountain!  (In case you're wondering, the brown lumps on the left are supposed to be hedgehogs.)

Who decided that the way to model stuffed hedgehogs, rabbits and possums was to put them in a toboggan race in a fake mountain diorama?  (Whoever you are, thank you!)  What were the alternate ideas?  Animals betting on horse races?   Pumping gas?  Hot tubbing?

I think I feel like picking up my skirts and skipping.

Last Day to Enter the Pattern Junkie Fabric Giveaway!

Don't forget!  Today is the last day to enter my fabric giveaway for a chance to win 3 yards of this 1980s pinstriped, neon-figured wonder!

To enter, leave a comment on this post by midnight PST tonight.  Good luck, my fellow junkies!

 

Unfortunate Fashion Friday: Harem Perils

I'm afraid I have no words for Burda 8130:

Really.  I don't know what to say about a pair of pants that balloon around the hip and thigh, narrowing to hug your calves from the knees down.  And that are decorated with criss-crossing leg ribbons.

Sorry.  You guys are on your own on this one.

Pattern Junkie Raging 80s Fabric Giveaway!

As I wrote on Sunday, I'm on a mission to get control of my sewing room and bring my stash down to a manageable size.  Giving away some fabric to blog readers is an obvious way to get closer to that goal, right?

Here's the problem I've been struggling with: what exactly should I give away?  What fabric qualifies to be featured in such a glorious manner?

Perhaps you think it should be something useful.  The kind of fabric any seamstress would be happy to get.  Or maybe you think it should be a thing of beauty: a breakthaking length of cotton or silk that you can hardly bear to cut into.

To which I say: have you been reading this blog?

Drum roll!  Prepare to meet your destiny: three yards of 60" wide vintage 1980s fabric.  Words don't really do it justice, so here it is:

"Wait," you may be thinking.  "Those look like people, yet...their shoulders are so enormously large!  And what's with the teeny heads with sharp points?"

Yes, it demands a closer look.  Behold:

Yes!  Those are 80s dudes and Valley girls with new wave haircuts and "Stop Making Sense" shoulder pads!  They're dancing!  And skateboarding!  All in neon 80s colors!

To enter, simply leave a comment telling me what you'd make with this treasure.  Would you zig on the zagged line and embroider giant chains on it?  Would you offend 50s fashion lovers by making a winged wiggle dress?  Or would you embrace the 1980s in all their misguided glory and make this Dihann Carrol ruffled capri pantsuit?

Enter by midnight PST by Wednesday, April 27.  I'll pick the winner by random number.  Again, be sure to tell me what outlandish dream project you'd make with it (and if you'd like, email me a pattern photo.)  Don't worry -- I won't hold you to your promise to make hot pants or giant jackets, but those boppin' New Wavers just might...

 

Unfortunate Fashion Friday: When Bad Suspenders Happen to Good People

This week's UFF inspires terror in me for what it might do to my, er, assets...and I'm only a B cup.  Who at Simplicity thought backwards suspenders (with their nice "cross my heart" look) and a tight empire silhouette was a good idea?

Simplicity 8739

Quick Tricks

Wow.  I have no words:

"Quick tricks"?  Well, I guess the outfits do provide easy access.

Eww.

A big thank you to Phyllis, who found this gem at Mom's Patterns!  She suggested we file it in the Department of What Were They Thinking, an idea so inspired that I am creating a new tag, "Dept of WWTT," in her honor.

When Is A Blouse Not a Shirt?

I was going through some patterns to list in my etsy shop today and ran across this 1980s wonder, McCall's 2070:

All that Dress for Success wonder!  The shoulder pads!  The pleated jabot!  The bows!  But what really intrigued me was the note written in the bottom right corner:

"Collar is large Blouse is short" -- clear enough.  But then...

"True Blouse Not Shirt"

This gave me pause.  What did it mean?  I've always considered "blouse" to be a subset of the larger category "shirt."  If you asked me to define a blouse, I'd say it was a woman's dressier shirt made out of woven fabric. 

But could something be a blouse and not a shirt?

I don't have access to the full Oxford English Dictionary Online, but I looked up "blouse" at AskOxford.com.  

blouse

  • noun 1 a woman’s upper garment resembling a shirt. 2 a loose smock or tunic. 3 a type of jacket worn as part of military uniform.

  • verb make (a garment) hang in loose folds.

(Ask Oxford also informed my that in Britain "big girl's blouse" is a phrase meaning a weak, cowardly or over-sensitive man.  I'd like to work it into my vocabulary, but it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue: "Stop your crying and cook me some dinner, you big girl's blouse!")

Anyway, the Oxford folk seem to be defining "blouse" as something different than a shirt.  What's your opinion?  Is a "blouse" actually a different item than a shirt, or is it a kind of shirt?  What is the meaning of "True Blouse Not Shirt"?  And am I spending too much of my time puzzling over other seamstress' cryptic notes?

Scratch that last question!  No pattern mystery is too trivial to pursue.  In fact, I may have to kick this one over to wordsmith Erin at A Dress A Day for answers!