Wow. I have no words:
"Quick tricks"? Well, I guess the outfits do provide easy access.
Eww.
A big thank you to Phyllis, who found this gem at Mom's Patterns! She suggested we file it in the Department of What Were They Thinking, an idea so inspired that I am creating a new tag, "Dept of WWTT," in her honor.
The lovely Carmencita B sent me this great image -- an Indygo Junction quilt pattern, The London Jacket:
Carmencita pegged it perfectly -- the model in the upper right is thinking, "OMFG being a model is so not what I thought this job was gonna be!" You know she was hoping for a bikini and a beach, not a shapeless apron and an Ikea kitchen!
Reader Harriet sent in this fantastic pattern she found on etsy, which she's aptly titled "Before They Had Pipes":
Wow. Look at all those little businessmen! Harriet thinks that Mr. Blue Plaid in front looks suspiciously like Sal from Mad Men. I don't follow the show (a sin for a vintage lover, I know -- I didn't get into it at first and now fear it will take over my life if I try to catch up), but I suspect that Sal is a toupee-wearing ladies' man. The rest of the "boys" don't look so innocent either. Mr. Red Vest behind him looks ready to sell us a shady bill of goods, while Mr. Gray Blazer/Bow Tie is clearly another snake oil salesman. I'm not quite sure what Red Plaid Vest has done at such a young age to deserve framing, but Brown Suit? I pity Brown Suit. If there's a Willy Loman in this diorama of 1950s white collar masculinity, it's Brown Suit.
There are a couple of other 1950s boys' patterns in the seller's shop, and together they offer an amazing glimpse into the strict gender roles men were forced into during this time. I know I focus so much on the societal restrictions placed on women that I forget that men and boys -- even if they didn't have to deal with everything from job discrimination to girdles -- had their own cultural baggage. If you look at these patterns, it seems that boys were being molded into "little men" from a very young age.
This one, Simplicity 4964, at least makes a passing acknowledgment to boyhood and puberty. Charming Red and Cute Stripe pose for the viewer while White Shirt gives grooming advice to Tennis. ("The ladies, they like it when you shave, see? And they think it's real special when you slick back your hair.")
But Simplicity 4740 really portrays its boys as little men -- they truly are only a pipe away from manhood:
These kids are having a business conference before bed! Check out Red Robe! He's not just holding a sheaf of papers, briefing Blue Plaid and White Robe with some last minute details on tomorrow's presentation...he's wearing SLACKS ad DRESS SHOES underneath the robe!
Pills, shocks, barred windows
Can't hide the truth. My true face
Is a sunflower.
Thanks to reader Margi for this fantastic submission -- and apologies to The Selfish Seamstress, but a haiku was the only possible response to this stunner!
Here's another great pattern sent in by reader Margie, who provided us with the awesome TEACHES GIRLS TO SEW. I agree with her on this one -- Simplicity 7239 is not all childhood innocence and fun:
Green up there clearly has designs on Baby Blue, and is attempting to clock her with a yo-yo. And while Baby Blue may not have verbal skills yet, she's doing a good job of giving her murderous sister the finger.
As for Flowers and Gingham? They're plotting where to bury the body. And methinks Gingham might want to hop on over to Daddy Likey for some basic fashion advice: DON'T SHOWCA YOUR CHOCA, little one!
Reader Margie sent in this fantastic sign that she found in a box of patterns (dated from the 40s to the 70s) that she was given at an auction. (Note to self: attend more auctions!)
I have to say I nearly spit coffee through my nose when I first saw it. I love how the VALUABLE PRACTICAL INSTRUCTION offered by Presson Patterns is much more important than any frivolous entertainment they might provide. There will be NO GUESSWORK and NO MISTAKES! The poor little zombie girl with the doomed expression seems to be marching off to another miserable lesson now. She'd probably much rather be playing with the mechanical construction toys, but gender roles aren't to be defied...
