The thumping disco beat reverberated throughout the club, commanding her to move. And when the music spoke, she had to obey.
She twirled. Whirled. Boogied down. Now believing the music's promise: soon it would be raining men.
All eyes were on her. She could feel it. She gloried in it. Knowing that they marveled at her movement.
Sadly, she was wrong. They were taking bets as to how soon she would swallow her purse.
Vogue 2313, 1979
The lovely Carmencita B sent me this great image -- an Indygo Junction quilt pattern, The London Jacket:
Carmencita pegged it perfectly -- the model in the upper right is thinking, "OMFG being a model is so not what I thought this job was gonna be!" You know she was hoping for a bikini and a beach, not a shapeless apron and an Ikea kitchen!
We've all been stuck in conversations we can't get out of. Pity poor Red in McCall's 5864:
"And then Linda said she was going to bring a lemon pie and I said no, I wanted to bring my lemon chiffon cake and we can't have too much lemon at the luncheon because when there's too much tartness in a menu it really takes away from the savory quality of the casseroles, which is what anyone who knows anything about cooking knows but would you believe that Sheila Johnson said..."
Sometimes being overly polite, like Red there, just leads to pain. It doesn't hurt to take a page from the animal kingdom in these situations. I once had a wonderful dog named Hopkins -- a Corgi/Shepherd mix full of attitude who basically looked like a German Shepherd who'd been hit by a shrinking ray. Anyway, every morning we'd walk by a house where another dog would throw itself at the fence, barking its fool head off. Most dogs, given that situation, would bark right back -- but Hopkins would trot on by without a break in his step, without even a glance to that yapping idiot. And I can't help but be reminded of that every time I look at Advance 9798:
There's Purple, yap-yap-yapping...and Black and White just blissfully tunes her out. Well done!
I don't know what Yellow told White, but the poor girl looks absolutely petrified:
The arched eyebrows, the handwringing...in fact, she's been twisting her fingers together so intently that she's LOST HER RIGHT ARM!
Yellow, I don't know if you're White's mother, older sister, aunt or best friend, but this I do know: you have a black and twisted little heart.
Simplicity 1466, 1930s
It's the rare pattern model who looks embarrassed to be caught in the clothes she's wearing:
White is the sorority girl who doesn't know there's a voyeur at the window, but Red? It's as if she wandered in and gasped "You're drawing?! I had no idea!" Now she's stuck there for eternity in her babydoll dress, standing awkwardly while clueless White preens away.
Poor Red. You would have been happier modeling scrubs and ponchos, wouldn't you?
Rare are the pattern illustrations that show outright heartbreak. After all, who wants to make a dress that promises despair? But that's what Simplicity 1620 seems to guarantee its wearer:
Poor Checks is holding two roses in her gloved hands, so I presume she made it to the dance. What happened to her date? Is he off flirting with someone else? Drinking with the boys? Green and Flowers don't have it so bad -- unfortunate, really, because Checks is wearing the cutest version of the design.
At least that pattern illustration offered some hope. Simplicity 4440 promises no love for its wearer. All three views are doomed:
It's a trilogy of pain! At least Bolero in the back looks like she might give that no good man a piece of her mind, should he dare to show his face.
While browsing the vintage pattern wiki recently, I stumbled upon Simplicity 2907 and nearly fell over laughing:
Look at Stripes back there! Holding a glass of water and...is that a pill case?! Is she about to pop a mother's little helper? (I'm talking a real one, as opposed to a floating mini-helper.) It's hard to tell in the scan -- here's a closer look:
Ack! Still impossible to be sure! At this point I was squinting at the screen (and becoming strangely fascinated with her scorpion-style bangs), so I fired off an email to Sandra at Selvedge Shop, who has the pattern in stock. Sadly, she informed me that Stripes is holding a DISH.
Sigh. Still, as Sandra suggested, that dish could have a pill on it. Stripes could be bringing an aspirin to hubby. Or this whole scene could be a coffee klatch with a kick. Look at it. Dots there certainly isn't cleaning. Eyes closed, arms outstretched -- she's either singing or having a transcendental experience. Flowers in the background is hiding something in her pockets. No, housework is not on the agenda in this scene.
Even though Simplicity slapped a "housedress or duster" label on this pattern, I wonder if it was really meant to be that. Look at that design -- how cute is that? Not that there aren't cute housedresses, but this looks a tad like party wear with its big structured skirt. Now check out the suggested fabrics:
Silks? TAFFETA?!
Doesn't sound like a housedress to me! Flowers, Stripes and Dots, they agree. Drop on by if you're in the neighborhood -- there's a party going on.
