pattern junkie

Flasher Fashion

Oh, Vogue.  You've come out with some scrumptious dresses for spring...and then there's your new pattern for men, 8720.  This goes straight into the Department of WWTT (What Were They Thinking?):

Was it really necessary for the coat to be buttoned all the way to the neck?  Did the model need to shove his hands forearm-deep into the pockets?  And why, in the name of all that is holy, did someone decide to throw sunglasses into the mix? 

I don't see this and think, "My goodness, there's a stylish man!"  I think "That guy's getting ready to expose his junk.  Remind me not to look his way."

The Dreaded One Note Bird Strikes Again

Remember McCall's 3435 and The Dreaded One-Note Bird? 

Well, it now has a rival in the "Inexplicable Illustration Detail I Just Can't Get Past" Department.  Behold Butterick 5246:

Is that a light switch on the wall?  If so, what made the illustrator go "I know just what this drawing needs to sell this dress -- a light switch!"  Yes, because I always plan my outfits around the momentous occasion of turning on the lights.

But...is the switch in the shape of of a triangle?!  Why?  Is Green in her smock dress actually flipping The Switch That Will Destroy The World?  Is Stripes hiding the key to unlock the missile codes in her little red purselet?  If so, they seem pretty casual about the whole thing.  They're not super-villains or heroines -- just two laidback gals in smock dresses who stumbled into the war room one afternoon.

I have to say, if this is the depiction of The End of The World, I could use a bit more drama.

Tweet.  Tweet.

Attack of the Fifty Foot Scarves

Wowza!  Look at this recent addition to the Vintage Pattern Wiki, McCall's 2255:

Those monogram letters are six inches tall!  And View E, the super-long scarf?  108 INCHES OF SCARF FUN, BABY!!

You know what this needs, don't you?  Wait for it...

Yes!  It needs GIANT EYES and a GIANT ZIPPER!  It must be paired with that other 1970s pattern of legend, McCall's 3057!  (Readers, accept now that I'm going to refer back to 3057 constantly -- it's one of those things that will always make me laugh, much like BIRDEMIC and C.W. McCall's "Convoy.")

If you want to see the back of the fabulous giant scarf pattern, check out Patternaholic's post about it!  But please, if you make one of these, no riding in convertibles -- I don't want any of you meeting Isadora Duncan's tragic demise.

Quick Tricks

Wow.  I have no words:

"Quick tricks"?  Well, I guess the outfits do provide easy access.

Eww.

A big thank you to Phyllis, who found this gem at Mom's Patterns!  She suggested we file it in the Department of What Were They Thinking, an idea so inspired that I am creating a new tag, "Dept of WWTT," in her honor.