pattern junkie

Unfortunate Fashion Friday: The Day Pass Edition

Butterick 4489, on its own, isn't bad enough to qualify as Unfortunate Fashion.  The "pocketed pull-on outfit" is boring, sure, but it's the institutional blue and the ice cream cone that push it into UFF territory for me:

With that smile, that pose and that outfit, she has the look of someone who has finally earned enough Good Points for a Trip Outside.  Maybe she was committed for making Crazy Caps?

I don't know about you, but my mind immediately went to the scene in Girl, Interrupted when Whoopi Goldberg took Winona Ryder, Angelia Jolie and all the other beautful mentally-ill girls out of the hospital  for ice cream.  It didn't necessarily end well, but anyone who's ever seen a movie could've told you that.  (Of course, by "didn't end well," I mean it ended in a "unfortunate yet endearing way which let us feel like we were laughing with mentally ill people instead of laughing at them, even though the movie was doing just that.") 

Here's the scene -- in Spanish, because it's always better to watch WASPish characters with telenovela voices:

 

Sensational Accessories!

I know lately I've been reserving Fridays for Unfortunate Fashion, but I can't bear to put Betsey Johnson in that category.  I love her over-the-top stuff, and have several of her 1970s patterns.  Check out this early wonder that just showed up on the Vintage Sewing Pattern Wiki, Butterick 3850:

What Sensational Accessories!  Can you resist a carpenter's apron with pockets for pencils, keys, lipstick, junk and tools?  A tote bag with "hello" suspended from a woman's lips?  I can't!

And yet...the hat.  Betsey Johnson, my pop-punk princess rebel, you fail me here.  The "Don't bother me...I'm pretending to study!" just screams Fabricated Teen Rebellion.  (If you're pretending to study, shouldn't it say "Please Bother Me"?) 

You're a hair's breadth away from getting an Unfortunate Fashion stamp, Betsey.  Watch your step.

Fosse Does Butterick

Wow.  Even by the warped standards of fashion illustration, these are some LONG legs.  Looking at White Shorts makes me shudder, and not in a good way:

Plaid and Red seem to be engaged in some kind of dance move, which makes me think they're all in that long-forgotten 1970s musical "A Culotte Line," which tells the uplifting story of a group of young designers determined to end the pants/skirts divide once and for all.

Two words, people: JAZZ HANDS!

The Dreaded One Note Bird Strikes Again

Remember McCall's 3435 and The Dreaded One-Note Bird? 

Well, it now has a rival in the "Inexplicable Illustration Detail I Just Can't Get Past" Department.  Behold Butterick 5246:

Is that a light switch on the wall?  If so, what made the illustrator go "I know just what this drawing needs to sell this dress -- a light switch!"  Yes, because I always plan my outfits around the momentous occasion of turning on the lights.

But...is the switch in the shape of of a triangle?!  Why?  Is Green in her smock dress actually flipping The Switch That Will Destroy The World?  Is Stripes hiding the key to unlock the missile codes in her little red purselet?  If so, they seem pretty casual about the whole thing.  They're not super-villains or heroines -- just two laidback gals in smock dresses who stumbled into the war room one afternoon.

I have to say, if this is the depiction of The End of The World, I could use a bit more drama.

Tweet.  Tweet.

Great Slanting Tucks!

Sewing pattern envelopes are generally mullets in reverse: party in the front, business in the back.  Oh, those illustrations!  Chock full of eye candy calling out to you: "Buy me.  Sew me.  With me your life will be joyous, glamourous, carefree."  But flip them over and it's time for Serious Business: bust measurements, yardage specifications and descriptions that are little more than a checklist.  "Raglan sleeves, center back zipper, waist tucks.  Choice of collar."

There are exceptions, however.  Take the Butterick pattern descriptions of the 1950s: they're things of fanciful beauty, little bonbons of prose that make my heart go pitter pat.  I first became aware of them when I bought this pattern, Butterick 7348: 

How great is this description?  "Gentle mannered dress has a fitted bodice with faced sleeves, a stand-up collar and a bouffant skirt that's spiced with two great slanting tucks on either side."  I've been trying to work "great slanting tucks" into my vocabulary ever since -- ie, "Great slanting tucks, Batman!  The Joker is at it again!"

Then, of course, there's Butterick 7162 -- the Blouse of Many Moods.  But it doesn't stop there!  Search for "Butterick" and "1950s" on the Vintage Pattern Wiki and a whole bevy of delights await.  Want more examples?  I'm happy to oblige.

Butterick 6153 has a bit of an attitude problem.  This "daytimer" dress "moves easily in city or suburbs."  What about the country?  6153 strikes me as a bit of a snob.

Butterick 6946, meanwhile, declares itself a "seven day wonder - the dress to reach for - feel just right on any day."  Not to be outdone, Butterick 8939 ("a "bevy of important jackets") promises to "cover all your needs."  I'm assuming they mean all your jacket needs -- I can't imagine it paying rent or anything -- but perhaps "needs" was a synonym of "breasts" back then.

Finally, here's Butterick 6903.  The description declares it to be "exciting news in jacket-dresses - versatility plus smart fashion" -- but I think the truly exciting news comes later in the description, when we learn that the "skirt takes a fling with oversized pockets."  The skirt and the pockets are having a fling?  How did they meet?  Will these (three) crazy kids make it work?  What happens to the dress if the skirt and pockets break up? 

Great slanting tucks, that'd be a problem!

I Am Not-So-Secretly Judging You

I love how the women in Butterick 5564 appear to be mocking, well, ME:

GRAY: She's looking at us again.

YELLOW: She's looking at ME.  This color is fabulous.

GRAY: No.  She's entranced by my contrast collar and cuffs.  (stifled laugh)  Look at her.

YELLOW:  I know!  What is that thing she's wearing?  I believe that's a knit...pants and shirt? 

GRAY:  She needs a girdle.  And a longline bra.  Let's not even get into the fact that she's not wearing makeup and that her hair, it's...

YELLOW:  Pulled back in a ponytail.

GRAY: She's still staring.

YELLOW: She's actually contemplating our dresses.  As if the fact that the pattern is in her bust size means she could pull it off!

GRAY: Ha!  A gathered hip yoke.  Dream on, sister!

Quick Tricks

Wow.  I have no words:

"Quick tricks"?  Well, I guess the outfits do provide easy access.

Eww.

A big thank you to Phyllis, who found this gem at Mom's Patterns!  She suggested we file it in the Department of What Were They Thinking, an idea so inspired that I am creating a new tag, "Dept of WWTT," in her honor.

Dancing to a Different Drum

 

I hear the mermaids singing -- they sing for ME!

Butterick 4014, 1971

Togetherness Is...

How nice that Butterick 5266 includes relationship advice on the pattern envelope:

 

Hmm.  It seems Togetherness is Also...

...His and Hers Pants in Identical Fabrics and Styles

...His and Hers Striped Belts

...His and Hers Tan Kerchiefs Knotted in the Jaunty Style

Where's My Robe?!

It's the rare pattern model who looks embarrassed to be caught in the clothes she's wearing:

White is the sorority girl who doesn't know there's a voyeur at the window, but Red?  It's as if she wandered in and gasped "You're drawing?!  I had no idea!"  Now she's stuck there for eternity in her babydoll dress, standing awkwardly while clueless White preens away.

Poor Red.  You would have been happier modeling scrubs and ponchos, wouldn't you?