pattern junkie

Fear The Plant

 

Yellow: Tulips!  How pretty!  What a sweet way to welcome us to the neighbor--

Blue: Here.  Take them.

Red: Everyone in the neighborhood has them. 

Yellow: It's uncanny how they match my dress.  They're the exact same shade -- wait.  Did you embroider them on your pocket?

Red: What?  No.  We haven't been watching you.

Yellow: Excuse me?

Blue: Please please take them.  They're hurting me.

Yellow: Why won't either of you make eye contact with me?

Blue: They make me...do things.

Red: We all love tulips!

Blue: And so...will you.

Kwik Sew Crime Scene

What were the pattern illustrators at Kwik Sew smoking in the 70s?  I'm sorry, but I don't associate women's undergarments in a field with concepts like "fun hobby" and "happy sewing."  I associate them with concepts like "crime scene" and "ritual murder."

And no, the pretty flowers don't make it any better.

P.S.  It's available over at MOMSPatterns.  They're having a sale through October 31 -- just use the code "dressup" to get 15% off.

My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

That, or she's very happy about the atomic testing that's about to go down.

(It's Simplicity 6406, for those keeping track at home...)

Overwhelming Enthusiasm

I've been pondering over what to write about this pattern envelope for a while: Simplicity 9487 required, I felt, something involving 70s Corman movies, Charlie's Angels, pep squads and bad acid trips.  Finally I've realized this is one of those "a picture is worth a thousand words" situations: there's really no witty caption or clever story that can match the giddy excitement and studied cool of these pattern models.

For some weekend vintage pattern excitemenet of your own, be sure to hop on over to etsy and check out the Yart Sale happening now through Sunday the 14th.  To do a little shameless self-promotion, I'm offering 10% off all patterns in my shop featuring funky collars, a particular obsession of mine.  Many other pattern sellers are offering discounts, so take a look around!

Preparation is Everything

Nothing beats being well-prepared.  When it comes to sewing, I really have to work on that.  My space isn't organized AT ALL, which means it's not uncommon for me to spend 20 minutes searching frantically for a seam ripper.  This weekend I found a great 1971 book on decorating that has a chapter on sewing rooms -- check this inspiring example out:

Really, who hasn't wanted to shoot their sewing machine at some point?  (Don't even get me started on the violent thoughts an uncooperative serger can inspire.)  Having a whole rack of rifles also guarantees that you don't have to worry about any pesky reloading!

I have to say, though, that I'm worried about what's happening outside the photo borders.  Note the project abandoned mid-stitch and the missing top rifle -- I don't think that white carpet is going to stay that way for long.

The Go Everywhere Man

Behold the GO EVERYWHERE man -- 1970s dude extraordinaire.  It makes me happy to realize that in the 1970s Simplicity felt that even an international criminal/super spy might need a pattern for an efficient, flexible wardrobe that allows him to blend in anywhere.  I bring you Simplicity 7943:

70s BUSINESS DUDE is our hero's main disguise, as signaled by the large pattern illustration.  The 'stache is tamed.  He's walking calmly.  But note how his left hand creeps toward his pocket...our first clue that he might be more than he seems.  He's ready to grab a weapon (I'm betting a ninja star) in an instant if the situation warrants.

CASUAL DUDE (bottom row, center) is business dude's natural counterpart.  Striped polo shirt, hands in pockets, one leg crossed.  The look screams casual, but check out those eyes.  He knows every exit in any room he's in.  He's alert to any sign that he's gotta go...he'll whip out one of his three passports and don his next outfit, which is...

BERMUDA BUSINESS DUDE (top row, left).  Swap out the pants for plaid shorts and don some sunglasses and long socks, and our international superspy is ready to attend to business in the tropics.  A few dozen bank accounts in the Caicos are required, after all, when your other persona is...

COLOMBIAN DRUG DEALER DUDE (top row, center).  Witness the straw fedora and briefcase.  I need say no more.

JAMES BOND SEDUCER DUDE (top row, right) is an easy persona to adopt with the right stylistic changes.  Add a turtleneck.  Put a wave in that hair and a smoldering look in your eyes.  The Continental has nothing on you now. Finally, we have...

GOLFING DUDE (bottom row, right).  Sadly, Simplicity really dropped the ball on this one -- any astute observer would see right through our hero's disguise.  Who wears a thick ski sweater with Bermuda shorts to golf?  (Only someone with bars of gold bullion or ammunition rounds strapped to their chest, that's who.) And either our guy has cankles, or he's chosen to hide his bankroll in his socks.

War of the Super Shirts

1970s culture wars, pattern style.

Super Shirts (Butterick 4337) vs. Embroidery Design (Simplicity 6380):


 

Organic gardening vs. mind altering experiences

Mother Jones vs. Rolling Stone

The Carpenters' "We've Only Just Begun" vs. The Eagles' "Life in the Fast Lane"

Sorry, Super Shirts.  Ms. Embroidery Design is going to kick both your asses.

Doll for an August Moon

Check out this vintage 1970s Emilio Pucci pattern that Wendy of Patternstash has in her etsy shop:  (I know!  EMILIO PUCCI!)

Sigh...it's in a B36.  If it were a B34, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.  (I know, I know, I could grade it down...but given that I've got plenty of B34 patterns waiting for their moment on the sewing table, I've got to attempt some self control).

Of course, I'd have to make it in an outrageous Pucci print.  Maybe the same fabric used on this chair:

Of course, then I'd have to move to a fabulous Italian city.  Rome?  Florence?  And I'd need that chair in my living room.  Actually, I'd need a whole swinging space age pad.

Who am I kidding?  A dress like this demands even more.  I'd have to become a character in Mario Bava's 5 Dolls for an August Moon.  I'd spend a decadent weekend at a remote, hip beach house with three fabulously wealthy couples.  We'd do nothing but smoke, drink, steal each other's lovers and kill each other off.

See?  Tell me Edwige Fenech isn't wearing a Pucci scarf when she discovers something horrific on the beach right there...

Inexplicable Obsessions

I think I've picked my next sewing project.  I've had Simplicity 9030 for a while now, but I'm suddenly inspired to make it.

I love the simple A-line silhouette and front zipper (it looks like it'll be easy to construct).  But what I really love is that collar: floppy, huge, 70s-era, almost as big as the model's head.  The collar flaps may actually double as radio antennas or wings, much like The Flying Nun's habit.

Sewing patterns with big collars are one of those things I can't seem to pass up.  (Bundt cakes, odd pudding recipes and bad thrift store art also fall into this category.)  It almost killed me to list Simplicity 9026 in my etsy shop: those collars could double as ski slopes.  Someday, somewhere, I'll find it in a B34!

I can't explain why I've got a weakness for big collars -- but really, who CAN explain the mysteries of love?

I'm planning on making the dress in a midi-length with some retro-ish cotton I have.  It's a light grass green with a pattern like iron scrollwork in chocolate brown.  Of course, I also planned to make it in time for Thanksgiving dinner, which seems unlikely considering that's now only about 24 hours away.  It's probably for the best -- that amazing collar is probably a gravy magnet.

In other news, Hot Patterns is having a buy one, get one free sale for Thanksgiving.  I may have to get those gauchos I was mulling over after all...

We Don't Need No Stinking Pockets

Here's another great note I found on a vintage pattern, Simplicity 6175:

 

No Pockets!  Apparently the seamstress who owned this pattern was so upset about the pocket situation that she wrote the same thing on the envelope back -- lest she forget her anger during the process of flipping it over, I suppose:

At first I thought the fury stemmed from a sneaky "fake pocket" situation -- but no, the patch pockets on the jacket are real.  Was she upset that the pants and skirts didn't have pockets?  Or was it a Joan Crawford-inspired "NO MORE POCKETS!" rage?  I'm hoping it was the latter -- in which case I shudder to think how she would have responded to this skirt or this dress that were featured over on Dressaday.