pattern junkie

Which Dress for the New Year?

So, Mr. Pattern Junkie and I are throwing a brunch on New Year's Day, and I've got this crazy notion that I've going to sew up a vintage pattern to wear by then.  (Insert maniacal laughter here.)  Being the kind of person who can't make any decision easily, though, I'm still debating between two patterns.  Do I want to make Simplicity 9030 and greet 2010 with late 60s mod coolness, showing off my strange obsession with gigantic collars?  (And yes, I blogged about this very project over a year ago and have yet to make it...)

I'd make version 2 there and be like Ms. Pixie Cut Hopeful, even though my hair is long.  (No snide hair in face shenanigans like little Miss Double-Belt there, though I do like her shoes, and snooty Miss Pink can keep her fringe purse.)  The fabric I've earmarked is green and brown, too, and could be very retro cute:

Or it could make me look like a pair of curtains.  Those heart-shaped bits are roughly an inch wide.

Option two?  McCall's 4576 from 1973.  I just bought this on Ebay and would make version A in a gauzy powder blue crepe.  I love it because it's so very 1970s junior high social studies teacher -- you know, Ms. Wilson, who wore dangly earrings, perfume and heels, and was rumored to be dating Mr. Johnson, the math teacher.  All the other female teachers went by "Miss" or "Mrs." but that "Ms." gave Ms. Wilson a little bit of glamor, and everyone was fascinated/horrified at the thought of her on a date.

 

The main risk with this pattern?  Even though it's a size smaller than my measurements, apparently McCall's had already started implementing the "add ten inches of ease to everything and call it a day" approach to patternmaking that they employ today.  So I might look less like "I'm hitting the disco with Coach Zimmer after choir practice" and more like "I'm wearing a belted blue potato sack with a Cleopatra-style collar."

Any thoughts besides "get sewing, you indecisive fool"?

McCall's: Destroying Your Child's Precious Self-Esteem, Pattern by Pattern

McCall's 7453, copyright 1964.  An adorable pattern, right?  What girl wouldn't want to wear it?

Let's take a closer peek at the symbol and writing in the upper right-hand corner, shall we?

And I thought the Husky boys had it bad.

Costume Countdown: Tears of a Clown

I made a promise to myself when I embarked upon costume countdown week to limit my use of clowns -- believe me, I could feature vintage clown patterns all week.  Each one has a little something special to make it just not right in that way clowns are.  Take, for example, Butterick 3169, a 1964 pattern I found in Midvale Cottage's etsy shop:

Oh, you may think this is just a tableau of frolicking kids -- but take a closer look at the one in the upper right hand corner.  WHY IS THE APPLE FLOATING?!

My personal fave, though, is Advance 701, which appears to be either from the 1940s or early 1950s.  Interestingly, it seems to have been issued with two different illustrations -- perhaps one version one year and one the next?  The illustration style and price suggest too close a date for this to be a case of pattern re-numbering.

Here's illustration one, from the pattern's page on the Vintage Sewing Wiki.  Our happy Halloween couple traises down the block for a Halloween party:

Next, look at the pattern listing over at Spessarite Sole.  I think someone spiked the Pink Zombie Punch with truth serum, because a scene of Who's Afraid of VIrginia Woolf? proportions took place between this illustration and the last one:

Advance consistently had such gorgeous illustrations, and these are both worth framing -- although I think you'd have to give it a title like "From Revelry to the Death of Love." 

Creepy Children, Volume 3: It Puts the Lotion in the Basket, or It Gets the Hose Again

OK.  I know that Kwik Sew 345 is supposed to be all childlike and innocent, but it just creeps me out.  And yes, since it's from the 60s or 70s the resemblance to the poster for The Silence of the Lambs is completely coincidental, but it's there.  Behold:

Kwik Sew:

Silence of the Lambs:

The more I look at the Kwik Sew pattern illustration, the more it creeps me out.  What's the boy hiding behind his back, and why is he smiling like that?  What's wrong with the girl's fingers?  They're just weird.  And why does she have that big jelly arm?  Does she even have arm bones?  Where are the boy's feet?!

Ick.

Creepy Children, Volume One: We Are Satan's Playthings

One out of oh, every three pattern illustrations featuring kids creeps me out.  I don't know why.  I'm not freaked out by kids in general, but somehow pattern illustrators find a way to bring out the worst in them.

Take for example Simplicity 8377, which is for sale right now in the lovely Sandritocat's etsy shop:

 

First there's the disturbing image of an eight-year-old boy dressed like he's about to hit the disco.  A medallion?!  Turtleneck?  Those shoes?  Is he Superfly's sidekick?

The ones who really scare me, though, are the Yellow Girls.  Let's face it, these aren't innocent tykes -- they're incarnations of Satan himself.  Yellow Skirt's already laughing, because she knows just what horror will befall you when you take that apple.  Yellow Jumper's pigtails are barely disguised HORNS, for crying out loud, and she looks like she can't wait to see the world burn.

Oh, and don't expect any help from Flowered Jumper, Plaid Jumper and Plaid Pants.  When the world turns to ash they'll be watching with the same bemused expressions they're sporting here.